....

I guess an ellipsis isn't enough to really express how exhausted mentally I am. I try hard not to really pressure myself especially when I'm quite weak-bodied as of now.

Last night, as I read Otousan's DT topic and chatted with him, I suddenly smacked my head in the wall... kidding (lame-assed joke again) I was actually close to tears. Ever since last night I've been feeling pretty bad about everything especially my existence. Also I've been feeling pretty low to te point that I want to avoid ARM as much as possible.

Why?

Maybe, whenever I go to the forum, even though I exist I feel it's not enough. Some may call that attention-seeker. I don't really think so. I've had enough attention, thank you very much. I think it's more of the emotions reeking on a certain thread.

Final answer to 'why?': I don't really know.

As much as I LOVE going there, I still feel sad. heh. Even though I chat with Jake, I still feel the same.

*sigh*

I just don't know anymore.

And this headache is KILLING me.